When Jesus Got the Promotion: A Theological Smackdown
When did Jesus become God by Bart Ehrman, Michael Bird, and Robert Stewart.
A christological debate (Audible)
A title that boldly promises answers to one of the most complex theological questions in history. You won’t find a definitive answer here. Instead, you’ll be treated to an intellectual boxing match where Ehrman, Bird, and Stewart dance around the ring of Christological debates, hurling theological jabs at one another while the audience (you) wonders if they’re fighting about the same Jesus. It’s like a theological tug-of-war, except no one’s winning and we’re all losing. Their brilliant approach to truth? Don’t look at what people believe, but why they believe it. Must be super helpful if you’re trying to figure out immaculate conception or Moses parting the Red Sea.
Bart Ehrman, ever the provocateur, brings his trademark skepticism to the table, expertly unearthing textual discrepancies that no one asked for but everyone apparently needs. He’s like that guest at your dinner party who keeps asking why there’s a different fork for dessert, completely derailing the evening's solemn vibe.
Michael Bird, on the other hand, is here to remind you that faith still has a fighting chance. His rebuttals are the theological equivalent of waving a flashlight in a dark cave: helpful, but you’re still in a cave. He passionately defends orthodox views, but one can’t help but feel his arguments come with a side of “Do you really need this much convincing?”
And Robert Stewart... bless his heart. He’s the moderator trying to wrangle these two into a coherent conversation, like a parent stuck mediating an argument between a teenager and a toddler. Stewart’s contributions are as calming as a cup of a mint tea: pleasant but not exactly riveting.
The real star of this book, however, is confusion. Was Jesus divine from birth, or did he pick up that gig later? Was he an apocalyptic preacher, or did his PR team just do an amazing job posthumously? Each chapter tantalizes you with the promise of clarity, only to leave you clutching a handful of scholarly jargon and existential despair.
The meaningful stuff finally kicks in about 1.5 hours later, when Jesus’ resurrection is compared to Romulus and Moses, and they dive into this fascinating adoption theory. Apparently, back then, being adopted was like the ultimate flex. Adopted kids (think Caesar Augustus) mattered more than blood ones (Caesar’s own kid with Cleopatra, who remembers him?!). So, early Christians believed God “adopted” Jesus, which is why he got resurrected. Over time, though, the paperwork got lost, and suddenly Jesus became God’s literal son. Blood and all. (Do gods even have blood? Discuss.)
Delivery-wise, it’s giving “professors arguing in a basement with stale coffee.” Bart Ehrman’s out here insisting Christianity is just a mashup of older traditions, while Michael Bird is screaming, “Jesus MUST be God! He just must, okay?!” The theological equivalent of “because I said so.” The jokes are kinda corny, the pacing is snail-like.
But if you’re into tedious debates sprinkled with some cool ideas (like syncretism and adaptology), this book’s for you. Just be ready for a lot of bickering before you hit the good stuff.
In summary, When Did Jesus Become God? is a delightful exercise in theological masochism. If you enjoy debates where everyone talks past each other while answering a question that no one can really answer, this book is for you. Just make sure to bring a stiff drink (as we say it in Russian: you can't figure it out without a bottle of vodka!) and a lot of patience. You’ll need both.
